100+ Las Vegas Quotes & Clever Las Vegas Instagram Captions

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The best Las Vegas quotes, the city that never stops.

Oh, Las Vegas.

A buzzing city where most visitors leave with far less money, a few regrets, and many stories to keep to themselves.

It is not only a hot summer destination in the US but also a pretty cold winter vacation spot too. Either way, Vegas should be on everyone’s USA bucket list.

Whether you’re visiting the city and want a Las Vegas Instagram caption for your social media, or simply looking for some Vegas quotes for inspiration, we have them all.

For this post, we gathered the best Las Vegas quotes online for many situations or that simply describe this crazy city the best.

From funny to romantic to clever, we’re sure you’ll find an inspiring quote about Vegas on this list.

Looking for some Las Vegas captions? Read on!

Pssst: If you want more inspiration, check out our best travel quotes here!

Quotes about Las Vegas

These are our favorite Las Vegas quotes in no particular order.

“I just love coming to Vegas. There is always good energy here; the minute you get off the plane, it is happy.

Every experience I have had here is fun, and everyone is in a good mood; they are happy, and they let it go. I like that. It is refreshing to me.” – Kelly Carlson

“Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment.” – Don Rickles

“Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness, and sadness all at the same time.” – Artie Lange

“Las Vegas is the most honest fake city in the world.” – Frank Scoblete

“It’s hard to imagine a bigger desert oasis than Las Vegas.” – Cinnamon Stomberger

“Contemporary Las Vegas is astonishing. At night, it is a brilliant cluster of jewels of all shapes, sizes, and colors, glowing in the middle of a vast, black velvet canopy. By day, it is also an amazing sight, almost like a mirage.

There is nothing but desert and rugged mountains all around, and then–in the middle of it all–one of the largest and fastest-growing cities in the United States… truly an enigma.” – Thomas Taj Ainlay

“I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It’s a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there.” Robin Williams

“In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.” – Steven Wright

“Las Vegas is a very strange place. It’s a place of broken dreams.” – Concha Buika

“Vegas is the answer, no matter the question.”

Quotes about Las Vegas sign
The best quotes about Las Vegas

Thoughts and Vegas quotes

“So, you know, if, if I wanted to get up and just play golf one day, I would just get up and play golf. If I wanted to go to Vegas, I would just get up and go to Vegas.” – Michael Phelps

“While I was busy hating Vegas and hiding from Vegas, a funny thing happened. I grew to love Vegas.” – J. R. Moehringer

“I hate Disneyland. It primes our kids for Las Vegas.” – Tom Waits

“There’s really only one constant in Las Vegas and that’s change.” – Travis Hoium

“Las Vegas history, the real Las Vegas history, makes fops and fools of even the most sincere explorers. The city’s story is riddled with blind alleys, dead ends, crazy twists, and outright fabrication.” – John L. Smith

“Las Vegas is sort of like how God would do it if he had money.” – Steve Wynn

“I used to pretend that my Peugeot driving to the gym in the rain in Dublin was a Ferrari on the Vegas strip.” – Conor McGregor

“Las Vegas suggests that the thirst for places, for cities and gardens and wilderness, is unslaked, that people will still seek out the experience of wandering about in the open air to examine the architecture, the spectacles, and the stuff for sale, will still hanker after surprises and strangers.” – Rebecca Solnit

“It seems strange to say this, but it is true: Coming back to Vegas to work is like going on vacation for me.” – Celine Dion

“No one thinks Las Vegas is real; it is illusion, but visitors willingly suspended disbelief and pretend.” – Hal Rothman

“Sometimes I think I need to get crazy. Go to Vegas.” – Chris Pine

“I’ve had some really, really wild fun nights in Vegas. I ended up on stage once with this band, The Digital Underground, doing the Humpty Dance.” – Ashton Kutcher

Shining night in Las Vegas quotes

Quotes about Las Vegas City

“Las Vegas is the suicide capital of America … and not everyone who comes here leaves here. Sometimes, what happens in Vegas truly stays in Vegas.” – Paul W. Papa

“I think the problem with Vegas is Las Vegas is trying to escape from itself, either rewrite history or make new history. All these properties that started Las Vegas, nothing’s there anymore.” – Cory Cooper

“There’s just no quiet in Vegas.” – Barry Manilow

“I don’t think anyone leaves Las Vegas rejuvenated, their skin shining, their bank accounts glowing. No one leaves Vegas, like, ‘I didn’t make one mistake. That felt great. Back to work.’” – Iliza Shlesinger

“Las Vegas, the most expensive toilet in the world that still can’t flush.” – Brin-Jonathan Butler

“Las Vegas is a 24-hour city. It never stops.” – Eli Roth

“Las Vegas exists chiefly to satisfy the needs and desires of its visitors, and this it does in spectacular fashion. Sin City has taken or re-created the best that other great cities have to offer and then upped the ante — making it bigger, grander, flashier.” – Scott Doggett

“It’s always nice to be paid to be in Las Vegas.” – Iliza Shlesinger

“What happens in Vegas, I’m telling everyone.” – Dane Cook

“Las Vegas, Nevada: A city where oddities don’t make you lame, But instead bring you riches and fortune and fame.” – Walter Wykes

“Vegas is a celebration.” – Jose Andres

“In Las Vegas, nothing ends very well.” – Walter Wykes

“Las Vegas is a feast or famine kind of city.” – Kevin Raiford

“In Las Vegas, everything takes place as if the absence of any sense of belonging to the environment entailed a hypertrophied sensitivity to details.

There is no possibility of visual escape into perceptual horizons of indeterminateness (left-right, forward-back, near-far), but, instead, only the pregnancy of enlarged, exaggerated and highlighted forms.

Behind each lit-up sign no space is hollowed out, no incipient world. Everything is there, everything is flat.

As thick as the giant advertising billboards that ubiquitously package it, loading it with naive and comic symbols, crude, schematic messages, Las Vegas is a city of literal superficiality.” – Bruce Begout

Coins for poker game in Las Vegas, Nevada

Famous Las Vegas quotes

These quotes about Las Vegas are either pretty famous or were said by someone famous.

“There’s just no quiet in Vegas.” – Barry Manilow

“It is not easy to get rich in Las Vegas, at Churchill Downs, or at the local Merrill Lynch office.” – Paul Samuelson

“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

“Las Vegas – my favorite desert mirage.” Val Saintsbury

“The reason you should go to Las Vegas is that, for only the second time, the second time, ever, they have rebuilt Sodom and Gomorrah. It’s back!! And you have the opportunity to see it before it turns to salt.” – Lewis Black

“Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go to Vegas.”

“Las Vegas without Wayne Newton is like Disneyland without Mickey Mouse.” – Merv Griffin

“I love Vegas. God knows that I know how to find my way around the buffets in Las Vegas.” – Mick Majerus

“Las Vegas is the only place I know where the money really talks–it says, “Goodbye.”” – Frank Sinatra

“Man, I really like Vegas.” – Elvis Presley

“I’ve been to Vegas. That’s where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That’s the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.” – Louie Anderson

“Vegas is everything that’s right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They’ve effectively legalized everything there.” – Drew Carey

Interesting quotes about Vegas

“For a loser, Vegas is the meanest town on earth.”

“Vegas must be a great town for Laundromats. Nobody lives there, everybody is just passing through, leaving a little bit of dirt.”

“I go to Las Vegas–or at least I went to Las Vegas–because even though I knew everything that was sinister, calculating, and evil about it, I loved Las Vegas. Only in Vegas could I dare to fantasize that I was a friend of Frank.

Or that I was throwing the dice at Dino’s favorite table. Or that I might luck out and sip bourbon with Rickles after his last lounge show. The D.I. oozed that kind of heady fantasy.” – Marc Cooper

“I got a ton of memories in Las Vegas I can’t talk about!”

“Seriously, why tour the world when all you have to do is visit Las Vegas and see all the highlights in one location?”

“It is not economic development; it’s about taking money out of the consumer economy and shipping it off to Las Vegas.” – John Warren

“Las Vegas is perhaps the most color-blind, class-free place in America. As long as your cash or credit line holds out, no one gives a damn about your race, gender, national origin, sexual orientation, address, family lineage, voter registration or even your criminal arrest record. Money is the great leveler.” – Marc Cooper

“Las Vegas is the entertainment capital of the world, where sleep is a mere inconvenience interrupting a continuous stream of fun and hedonism, and where everything is bigger, louder, flashier and trashier than anywhere else in the world.” – Jackie Staddon & Hilary Weston

Quote about Vegas
“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”

Gambling & Las Vegas quotes

“Las Vegas is the only town in the world whose skyline is made up neither of buildings, like New York, nor of trees, like Wilbraham, Massachusetts, but signs.” – Tom Wolfe

“In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there.”

“In Las Vegas, nothing ends very well.” – Walter Wykes

“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements

“I hate to break this to you, but Las Vegas is like an actual city. They have grocery stores, big-box retailers, schools and everything. I mean, there is even a stoplight or two! It’s crazy.” – Adam Rank

“Many a man who goes to Las Vegas to get away from it all soon finds that Las Vegas gets it all away from him.” – Evan Esar

“There is always a sneer in Las Vegas. The mountains around it sneer. The desert sneers. And arrogant in the middle of its wide valley, dominating those diligent sprawling suburbs, the downtown city sneers like anything.” – Jan Morris

“I’d rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.” – Ray Romano

“If you aim to leave Las Vegas with a small fortune, go there with a large one.”

“Hatred is not what Las Vegas is about. We will have zero tolerance for anyone who is intolerant.” Oscar Goodman

“The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.” – Ambrose Bierce

“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas…but that doesn’t matter when you live there.” – Michelle Madow

“If you know how to live in Vegas you can have the best time.” – Tony Curtis

“The greatest risk is not taking one.” – Tim Fargo

Clever Las Vegas quotes

“Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream” – Hunter S. Thompson

“There is always a sneer in Las Vegas. The mountains around it sneer. The desert sneers. And arrogant in the middle of its wide valley, dominating those diligent sprawling suburbs, the downtown city sneers like anything.” – Jan Morris

“I love Las Vegas because it’s the one city less classy than Los Angeles.” – J. Richard Singleton

“Everything and anything you want to do – you can do it in Las Vegas.” – Drew Carey

“Gambling isn’t fun; winning is fun.” – Steven Brust

“Vegas is the most extreme and allegorical of American settlements, bizarre and beautiful in its venality and in its devotion to immediate gratification.” Joan Didion

“The night is on my side.”

“It’s hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you’re on a losing one.” – Cara Bertola

“The view from the window, particularly if you enjoy neon, is extraordinary.” – Chris Bachelder

“I don’t gamble, if you will concede that poker is a game of skill.” – Robert A. Heinlein

“Everything’s a gamble, love most of all.” – Tess Gerritsen

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but the 400-pound woman perched in front of a slot machine, oozing bum-flesh off her stool as she balanced a cocktail and cigarette in one hand and robotically tugged the slot arm with the other… that’s still with me.” – Brian Sack

“Vegas is everything that’s right with America’” – Drew Carey

“It’s hard to imagine a bigger desert oasis than Las Vegas.” Cinnamon Stomberger

“A little bit of this town goes a very long way.” – Hunter S. Thompson

Machine in casino in Las Vegas quotes

Las Vegas Instagram captions

Here you will find our best Las Vegas Instagram captions not only for IG but also for other social accounts you might have.

“I’d just like to apologize in advance for my behavior in Vegas.”

“Las Vegas state of mind.”

“Life is more fun with games.”

“Screw this sh*t; I’m going to Vegas, b*tches!”

“Las Vegas is a very strange place. It’s a place of broken dreams.” – Concha Buika

“Vegas is always a good idea.”

“Welcome to the shiniest place on Earth!”

“The shiniest mirage.”

“All life is a gamble and our lives are the dice we throw.” – Marty Rubin

“Vegas, here I come!”

“I make my own luck.”

Las Vegas is a 24-hour city. It never stops. “ – Eli Roth

“Keep calm and go to Vegas.”

“Desert rose.”

“Vegas way of life.”

“Life is a gamble.”

Las Vegas captions

“Go rich, come home richer!”

“Follow your heart, even if it takes you all the way to Las Vegas.”

“City of lights, smiles, and memories.”

“Viva Las Vegas.”

“Sin city”

“Because if you’re not winning, then what are you doing?”

“Meanwhile, in Vegas…”

“Every time I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.” – Artie Lange

“Figurative and literal oasis.”

“If you can’t beat them, bluff them.” – N.R. Kudelis

“Poker face”

“VEGAS! VEGAS, BABY! VEGAS!”

“The secret of Vegas is that money is boring. Hence all the bluster.” – Jace Clayton

“The sky is the limit.”

“Las Vegas is always in my mind.”

“Goodbye, reality. Hello, Vegas!”

“Keep calm and play poker.”

“Never bet against the house.”

“The people who say that New York never sleeps must never have visited Las Vegas.” – Michelle Madow

“Here I get a break from my own thoughts.”

“Boy, you get greedy in Las Vegas.” Louie Anderson

Vegas skyline at night
Vegas skyline at night

Las Vegas puns

These Las Vegas puns are some of the funny Instagram captions we use in our social accounts.

“I’m on a Vegas diet.”

Alcohol you later!”

“Vegas stole a pizza of my heart.”

Funny Las Vegas quotes

Why so serious? Let’s talk about some funny Las Vegas quotes, for a change.

“I shouldn’t be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.” – Adam Sandler

“For me, Vegas is a vacation from being over inhibited, in the highly over inhabited yet uninhabitable city of complete uninhibition.” – Tammy Bloemzaken

“Las Vegas looks the way you’d imagine heaven must look at night.” Chuck Palahniuk

“Las Vegas is a major family destination. Nevada casinos have become American family values now. It’s considered just fine to go into one of these windowless scary gambling malls, drink yourself silly, lose your ass at roulette, and then google showgirls with breast implants. Republicans do this now. Working-class folks do it in polyester stretch pants. It’s normal.” – Bruce Sterling

“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, then people would stop dying.”

“Las Vegas: all the amenities of modern society in a habitat unfit to grow a tomato.” – Jason Love

“It’s not drinking, it’s brunch.”

“I can’t wait to be ashamed of what we do in LAS VEGAS!”

“It is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!” – James Hauenstein

“We’re not alcoholics. Alcoholics go to meetings. We’re drunks. Drunks go to Vegas.”

“Going to Vegas and not gambling is like going to a restaurant and not eating.”

“The last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, … But they say ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.’ And as far as fashion is concerned, that’s a good thing.” – Joan Rivers

Las Vegas quotes from songs

These are our favorite songs are about Las Vegas.

“I’ve got my car and my ride and my wheels
When I go to Vegas, well that’s right
I’ve got my drugs and my stuff and my pills
When I go to Vegas.” – Calvin Harris, ‘Vegas’

“Lost ’till we get to Las Vegas
(Party, do it ’till tomorrow)
Vegas
‘Till we get to Las Vegas
(Party, do it ’till tomorrow)
Vegas” – Eminem, ‘Vegas’

“I’ll find
I’m leaving Las Vegas 
Lights so bright 
Palm sweat blackjack 
On a Saturday night 
Leaving Las Vegas 
Leaving for good, for good” – Sheryl Crow, ‘Leaving Las Vegas’

“There’s a thousand pretty women just waitin’ out there
They’re all livin
Devil may care and I’m just the
Devil with love to spare
Viva Las Vegas” – Elvis Presley, ‘Viva Las Vegas’

Coins for poker game in Las Vegas, Nevada

Las Vegas quotes from movies

“I haven’t seen so many sideburns since West Side Story.” – Honeymoon in Vegas

“Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird about having to ask you twice.” – The Hangover

“You’re either in or you’re out. Right now.” – Ocean’s Eleven

“Remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That sh*t’ll come back with you.” – The Hangover

“Why don’t you give me half the money you were going to bet, we’ll go out back, I’ll kick you in the nuts, and we’ll call it a day.” Vegas Vacation

“Why can’t we remember anything that happened last night? – The Hangover

More travel quotes?

From romantic to funny to inspiring, we all love travel quotes.

They fuel our soul and give that little motivation we look for to start a new day or, who knows, a trip.

And to help you keep that spark alive, we wrote a few other posts like these ones on California captions, Seattle quotes, New York captions, and Paris quotes.

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